Welcome to MENTAL

A collection of stories ON mental health experiences

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“Everyone wants to fix me with a quick solution…”

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This is an excerpt from my journal. During my darkest times I have poured these thoughts and feelings out of my heart and onto paper.

 

Down

Hard to look up

Hard to physically put a smile on my face

Tears rolling down my face

Turning into sobbing from the pit of my stomach

Feels like the sobbing is coming from a place so deep I could vomit.

 

My brain - overwhelmed, confused, so many voices, so many opinions.

Round and round and round and round

Never gives me a break.

 

Exhaustion - I wake up only wanting to stay where it is warm and safe,

in my bed to never get up.

Only wanting to close my eyes again and fall into a deep sleep to escape the hell.

 

Feelings and thoughts of 'would it be easier if I wasn't here'...

I feel like such a burden

Everyone wants to fix me with a quick solution

Exercise, eat well, sleep more, sleep less, pray, meditate.

I have done everything I possibly can!!!!!! FRUSTRATION and sadness fill me.

Pills, doctors, gluten free, sleeping, meditation, psychotherapy, praying, energy healers, reiki, church, exercise, journaling, drawing.

I have done it all.

All I want is to be happy.  

One day I will be happy.

I will never give up on my journey.

“Mental health and wellbeing is multidimensional and is reflected by a healthy society, community, whānau, community, spirit, body, heart and environment.”

“It is a harrowing, debilitating, and lifelong illness but it is an illness where there is always hope.”